Month: August 2018

Book Review – The Color Purple

The Color Purple

The Color Purple is about two sisters, Celie and Nettie, who hold their bond tightly despite their rough childhood and the journeys their lives take them on. Set in the early 20th century, Nettie becomes a missionary in Africa while Celie becomes child wife living in the South. This creates very different experiences and viewpoints on life for the sisters, but one thing holds true: they are loyal to their family no matter the time, distance or silence between them.

Day 124

Day 124

Our pregnancy had run amuck 124 days before August 27 on April 6. Since then, we’d seen bedrest at home, bedrest at the hospital, the birth of our incredibly premature baby, and our inauguration to the NICU world. So what did our lives look like in this NICU stage? It’s hard to really capture what our “average schedule” was, because nothing about navigating the NICU stage was average or scheduled.

Book Review – What Alice Forgot

What Alice Forgot is about a woman who comes to on the gym floor and discovers she’s 10 years older, her marriage is in shambles, and she’s forgotten everything that’s happened in the past decade, including her children. Over the course of the story, she re-discovers who she now is and who she once was and combines these two people to decide who she really wants to be and what she really wants out of life.

What Alice Forgot is about a woman who comes to on the gym floor and discovers she’s 10 years older, her marriage is in shambles, and she’s forgotten everything that’s happened in the past decade, including her children. Over the course of the story, she re-discovers who she now is and who she once was and combines these two people to decide who she really wants to be and what she really wants out of life.

Hitting a Wall

Hitting a Wall

55 days old and I finally hit a wall today. I’m exhausted – mentally, physically, emotionally – exhausted. It was the first day I had the thought that maybe it would be better if I weren’t [in the NICU with Oaklee] right now. I just need time to re-energize. I can’t handle the noise, the busyness, the stress or the reliance on the opinions of others anymore. 

Feeder Grower

Feeder Grower

As I previously mentioned, we were told the feeding part of the journey can be excruciating long. On this first day of respiratory-support-free-Oaklee, there was much to celebrate. She was breathing on her own AND she took her first approved, all parties in the know and on board, bottle. 

Rollercoaster Two

First Bottle

I gave Oaklee her very first bottle. I did it just like I’d practiced with my baby dolls 25 years ago. She took half of it, which was great for a baby whose food has always just magically appeared in her belly. But over the course of the next couple of days, we would learn Oaklee had struggled with that first bottle. They put her back on the full gavage road and kept asking us to be there at certain times so we could chat with Occupational Therapy (OT) about feedings before being given the green light to feed again.

Book Review – The Summer Wives

The Summer Wives

The Summer Wives is about a girl, Miranda, whose single mother marries into one of the wealthiest families on Winthrop Island off the New England Coast. Like most wealthy families and most islands, the Fishers and those on Winthrop Island have their secrets. Set in multiple time periods and told from multiple viewpoints, Miranda’s story unfolds as she uncovers those secrets, learns who she can and cannot trust and falls in love. When her first summer on the island ends in a substantial bout of drama, Miranda’s forced to move on, banished from the island, and to figure out who she is before she dares to set foot back on the island 18 years later. 

CPAP-less

CPAP Free

Each trial off CPAP was incredibly nerve-racking on Kevin and me. Oaklee had trialled off and was successful in early July, but found herself back on just a few days later. We learned from this experience not to get overly excited when the word “trial” came up. On August 2, for example, the nurse removed her CPAP in the morning and when I made my way up to the hospital in the afternoon, I was afraid to hold her as her oxygen saturations tended to change when she was being held. Realistically, we could not call her successful off the CPAP if we could not hold her, so I knew I had to hold her in order to know if she was truly capable of breathing on her own or not. She was not that time.

But this time, we ventured down a different route. Oaklee seemed so capable, yet she wasn’t allowing herself to succeed without assistance. Therefore, our nurse suggested to the doctor we try a simple nasal cannula, giving her just a small amount of additional oxygen to rely on if need be.

Sensory Overload

Sensory Overload

8.6.17 “We want to take this girl home. We want to relax on our couch, just the three of us – no beeps, no nurses, no strangers, no pumping… we just want privacy, quiet, home. Being in the hospital is hard – as a patient or as the parent of a patient… We’re ready for …