Could you donate a dollar per hour ($36 total) Win spent in the NICU?
Even the smallest donations help the smallest babes.
Please consider donating (and praying) to keep babies safe and provide the care they need to go home with their families.
This year our goal is $1500… that’s $1000/day Win spent in the NICU (36 hours). Can you donate $15? Or even $150? Your donation is a win/Win. It supports March of Dimes, and it makes Win happy.
I always knew I was a little bit of a hippie. When it came to my role as a mother, my hippie self wanted to love being pregnant and breastfeed my many babies for as long as I could.
And then I hated being pregnant.
And then I got pregnant again.
And I was still breastfeeding that first baby.
It’s the morning of Wednesday, February 6, just two days after I made my appointment to meet a new lady doctor, and my period is now three days late. I’ve been late before – it’s not the craziest thing to happen – but this time I’m feeling anxious because of all the conversations we’d been having about the prep work that needed to be done before considering getting pregnant again.
It’s Monday, February 4, 2019 and I’m laying in my bed next to my husband at the end of a long day. Our 19-month old daughter is sleeping in her bed in the room next to ours. I’m crying, because I don’t know if I can do it again…
Dr. L made it very clear that our baby might not make it. There was nothing more they could do. Her lungs, the ones that had been constricted in her body that’d been shrink-wrapped in my waterless womb, were being put to the ultimate test 12.5 weeks short of the amount of time they needed to properly develop. They just weren’t ready.
Dr. L left us alone. We sat with the news like an elephant on our chests. It was 6:00 am. We hadn’t yet told our families we were going into delivery, let alone, that our baby had been born. We hadn’t even shared her name with a single person. And now we wondered if we were losing her.
Though these contractions were the worst I’d experienced yet, they were nothing a big dose of mag couldn’t take care of. So there I laid, contracting, fire-hot from the mag and doing the math over and over again – I’d last eaten at 6:00 pm on Tuesday. 12 hours turned into 18 turned into 24 and finally turned into 27.5 hours before I was stabilized enough to be allowed to eat dinner. I’d hoped this meant I had survived another L&D visit on contraband fruit snacks and slushies and I would be sent back up to my room in OB Special Care, but they wanted to keep me just a bit longer to confirm things were ok.
My mind at ease, having gotten past contractions, eaten and cooled after the rush of mag, I told my husband we should try to get some sleep. We’d cancelled our baby shower, all we needed to focus on was having a better tomorrow.
My 83rd day of bedrest (June 27, 2017) was no different than the others but, as we were increasingly suspecting, life would be significantly changing again for us soon. So what did it look like then? What had I been doing for the 33 days I’d been in the hospital? Below, you’ll again find a loose schedule of my days, some notes that may help clarify how we made things work during this time and some tips for approaching people in our situation.
I’d made it to the day of goal #1 – my baby shower. There was a lot of talk around how baby showers should be handled when the mom-to-be is a hospital patient limited to an hour or so of wheelchair privileges. I’d always imagined my baby shower would be thrown in a house and we’d measure my 8 months pregnant belly with yarn and eat chicken salad sandwiches while trying to get each other to say the word “baby” in order to win some sort of game, but here we were… 6 months pregnant, confined to the hospital and uncertain I’d last much longer.
Having survived on flavored ice and contraband fruit snacks, contractions and clot loss diminished and by 6:45 pm the next day, I ordered dinner and was sent back to my room on the OB Special Care floor. I’d remained pregnant through yet another visit to L&D – our longest and most disgusting visit, but one that gave me hope for about 24 hours that maybe even a small part of our chaos was going to resolve.