12.26.19
“Win’s been inconsolable at times. It seems as though his reflux is making him angry and uncomfortable. We have our theories…“
In the month of December, we largely shifted our focus from the woes of the months leading up to the holiday season (surprise pregnancy, abnormal ultrasounds, premature birth, NICU stay, PPD), but we couldn’t seem to shake one last thing.
Pretty much since birth, Win had been a rather angry baby. We first thought that was just who he was, and found this to be yet another reason we were initially struggling to bond with him. Then we started making jokes about a witching hour and how if you heard a baby screaming in a room full of people, it was likely Win. After a while, we began to wonder if it wasn’t just who he was, but it was maybe something he was dealing with. He, like my daughter, had reflux, though not near as bad. His reflux seemed to coincide with his angry times. But still, we thought it possible his anger might even be causing the reflux, if not his prematurity.
Our pediatrician passively threw out the possibility of a dairy/soy intolerance and suggested I remove both from my diet to see if it made an impact in his attitude. He explained that babies who already experience reflux often have a hard time with dairy and soy because dairy and soy are already harsh on new digestive systems, let alone, a digestive system that is sending things the wrong way.
So on the 26th of December, I cut dairy from my diet to see if it would help Win. In the days leading up to the 26th, we solidified the theory with a dairy marathon. I wasn’t willing to quit dairy during the holidays when we didn’t even know if it was really the problem. But just in case it turned out to be accurate, I wanted to have all of my favorite things one last time.
I spent much of Christmas day trying to console a very angry and agitated baby.
While it was hard to imagine modifying my diet for an indefinite amount of time, it was good to have an answer and a hope for a quieter future.
And that’s kind of where this story ends.
Beginning to end, 2019 felt like another season of overcoming obstacles. We began with a surprise pregnancy – one I didn’t feel ready for. We took extra precautions and attended extra appointments to ward off a premature birth before the scheduled premature birth. We had abnormal ultrasounds. We delivered our second baby to be admitted to the NICU. We battled Post Partum Depression. And we lost hours and hours of sleep to an angry baby we were struggling to bond with. But there was light at the end of the tunnel. We’d overcome all of this, and as Win’s digestive system settled into a new normal, we overcame his anger, too.
We entered 2020 in an insurmountably better place than we left 2019 in. I was feeling better. Win was feeling better. We were ready to take on whatever the year had for us. And while 2020 had quite a bit in store for us all, Win has been an abundant bright spot for us. He is nothing but trouble, but he’s my buddy, my boy, my love, my heart.
Our pregnancies were not easy. I sometimes cannot even believe all we went through to get where we are. But God blessed us with two beautiful, healthy children. I will never believe that I deserve to have what I have, but for some reason, God dragged us through the mud only to pick us up, dust of off, and send us on the journey that is parenthood.
In the stats:
Adjusted Age: 2 months, 1 week, 5 days
Actual Age: 3 months, 6 days
