“I’ve had some contractions, though nothing to cause me to go in yet. Kiddo’s moving around like crazy. Just 4.5 weeks until we get to meet him!“
At 32 weeks pregnant, I was 4 weeks into a third trimester (territory I’d never traversed before), 4 weeks and 2 days past the gestational age we delivered our daughter at, and just 4 weeks and 4 days from meeting our son.
A natural planner, I crocheted my way to pregnancy-induced tendonitis making all the baby things I wanted for my son. I’d sewn a quilt, burp cloths, baby toys, etc. I stocked up on diapers and cute baby clothes when I found them on the cheap. Aside from having a name for our son (which is arguably one of the most important and challenging parts of preparation), I was ready.
I was also expanding.
Between the heat of summer and being pregnant, my body swelled up like a balloon and my morale deflated. Woof. With just 4.5 weeks to go, I could not imagine another 4 after that like a normal pregnancy. I’d already been contracting, but they’d been the kind of contractions where you drink a glass of water and lay on your side for an hour – not the kind where you rush to the hospital. And while I clung to this concept of staying pregnant as long as possible, I was also just very ready to not be pregnant any more.
Babies born at 32 weeks usually do pretty well. At 34 weeks, a solid NICU team can do everything on the outside that mom can do on the inside for a baby. At 36 weeks, your chances of sending your baby to the NICU drastically decrease. Staying as far away from that NICU life as possible was my only motivation to stay pregnant.
I started worrying that I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to visit my son if he was sent to the NICU. How could I go back after spending not only so many days, but so many of my darkest days there? I was counting on carrying as long as allowed, on the genetics that were on our side for the size of this baby, on the Makena Injections that would help me stay pregnant, on the pleas I made to God.
Please, don’t send me back to that NICU.
We were getting so close to our goal – 36 and 4. I was finally allowing myself to feel a little optimistic.
In the stats:
Gestational Age: 32 weeks
Doctor’s Appointments: 9
Makena Injections: 15