Book Review – Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace

Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace is Debra Moerke’s true story of the stations God has called her to in life, be it a profession, a relational role, or a major traumatic hurdle. Debra and her husband had fostered numerous children, but none affected her life quite so much as the Bower children did. When tragedy strikes, and the Bower children’s mother, Karen, calls from prison asking a colossal favor of the Moerkes, Debra has to decide whether she’s all in for what she believes or not. Can she extend a miraculous amount of grace from one of the darkest episodes of her life? What does this mean for her family? And how can you even move forward from such a traumatic mile-marker?

Sorry about all the extra posts – who knew I could read so many books in a year? Hang tight, one more post coming this year!

And finally, my last book of the year. I won this one on Goodreads and it has all the making to be a book that I would love – memoir, motherhood, foster care – three things I’m very intrigued by.

Book 54:
Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace: A True Story
by Debra Moerke

Genre:
Memoir

Published:
October 2019

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace is Debra Moerke’s true story of the stations God has called her to in life, be it a profession, a relational role, or a major traumatic hurdle. Debra and her husband had fostered numerous children, but none affected her life quite so much as the Bower children did. When tragedy strikes, and the Bower children’s mother, Karen, calls from prison asking a colossal favor of the Moerkes, Debra has to decide whether she’s all in for what she believes or not. Can she extend a miraculous amount of grace from one of the darkest episodes of her life? What does this mean for her family? And how can you even move forward from such a traumatic mile-marker?

Favorite Quote(s):

“My encouragement was to not wait for government agencies to do the work of caring for people around us. We can be a part of changing lives by showing we care and demonstrating that with love and action.”

“Suddenly, I realized I had no business wrestling with Karen’s sin. I had my own to deal with. Like Paul the apostle, I do what I don’t want to do and don’t do what I should. And yet, like me, Karen had the promise from God to forgive her and cleanse her from all unrighteousness. I had to remember that.”

“But life isn’t a fairy tale, and we are not owed blissful happy endings. We are called to run the race marked out for us until we are called heavenward, and that, I was assuming,”

– Debra Moerke, Murder, Motherhood, and Miraculous Grace

Awards (based upon my brief research):
None yet.

Pages:
326

My Overall Rating:
4.5 – Well rip my heart out. First, I read this book in 5% bursts while up at night with my son. I cannot recommend you read it while holding your baby. Waterworks. Every night.

Literally my only complaint about the book is that it got a little preachy at times. However, I could tell it was intentional, and I’m grateful there are people who are as audacious in sharing their faith as Debra. God was mentioned on almost every page.

I am so impressed with the things Debra has done with her life and so grateful she chose to share her story. I have hopes of one day doing foster care, and reading her story was a great reminder of the challenges that calling can bring but also of the opportunities it brings. Every new day is opportunity to be a light in this dark world. Debra lived into that in even the darkest of times. She forgave in a situation where many could likely not fathom forgiveness, and then she went further to extend a miraculous amount of grace because the Lord would want her to.

This book challenges its readers to consider where they might extend grace, where the Lord might be calling them to, or what the Lord might be showing them in their dark times. It’s not just for mothers. It’s for those who want or need to be reminded that God calls us to stations in our lives that are challenging and dark and fruitful and opportunistic. We choose where to go from there…

Book Review – Travel Light, Move Fast

Travel Light, Move Fast is a collection of reflective stories from Alexanda Fuller’s time with her parents in the wake of her father’s death. Having never lived a conventional lifestyle, the Fullers lived in 20+ locations (most in Africa) in the duration of Alexandra’s childhood, moving for various reasons and experiencing a whole gamut of cultures.

A memoir nab from my library’s Book Bingo event where I seriously brought home the book bacon, this next one was fun!

Book 48:
Travel Light, Move Fast
by Alexandra Fuller

Genre:
Memoir, Cultural

Published:
August 2019

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, Travel Light, Move Fast is a collection of reflective stories from Alexandra Fuller’s time with her parents in the wake of her father’s death. Having never lived a conventional lifestyle, the Fullers lived in 20+ locations (most in Africa) in the duration of Alexandra’s childhood, moving for various reasons and experiencing a whole gamut of cultures.

Favorite Quote(s):

“‘Make a plan,’ Dad always said. ‘And if that doesn’t work, make another one and if that doesn’t work, you’re probably the problem.'”

“Anyone who wants to start a war should have to spend the night in a hospital with the boys who come back from it.”

– Alexandra Fuller, Travel Light, Move Fast

Awards (based upon my brief research):
None yet.

Pages:
240

My Overall Rating:
3 – This one was hard for me to rate. There were moments I was literally laughing out loud – moments when I had to go back and read portions out loud to my husband because they were so funny. The writing was done well. I think she probably portrayed the “characters” very accurately given the amount of transparency she appeared to utilize. But as a whole, there wasn’t much story to it – it felt mostly like a nice tribute to Alexandra’s parents.

It’s short, and the funny parts were worth it, but I can’t say it was an above-average memoir.

Book Review – Wild Game

Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me is Adrienne Brodeur’s true story of the night her mother woke her up to tell her that a man – one who wasn’t her husband – had kissed her and the events that unfold thereafter. Adrienne was 14 when her mom did this, but it set the trajectory for an unusual mother/daughter relationship for the rest of their lives.

If you read my reviews, you know I love memoirs. My September Book of the Month choice was a no-brainer. One, it’s a memoir. And two, it sounded so intriguing. I had to read it.

Book 39:
Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me
by Adrienne Brodeur

Genre:
Memoir, Autobiography, Nonfiction

Published:
October 2019

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me is Adrienne Brodeur’s true story of the night her mother woke her up to tell her that a man – one who wasn’t her husband – had kissed her and the events that unfold thereafter. Adrienne was 14 when her mom did this, but it set the trajectory for an unusual mother/daughter relationship for the rest of their lives.

Favorite Quote(s):

“You have no idea how much you can learn about yourself by plunging into someone else’s life.”

– Adrienne Brodeur, Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me

Awards (based upon my brief research):
None yet.

Pages:
256

My Overall Rating:
5 – Let me begin with a disclaimer – I read this book the week I had a baby. Emotions were high. However, I absolutely loved the transparency of Brodeur and the way she shared her story. I laughed, I cried, I related and I loved it.

For a memoir, the story largely flowed in chronological order, touching on each major event or milestone. That made it very easy to want to read more and more. And then there is the topic. Mother/daughter relationships are so hard. There were elements of the relationship explored in this memoir that I could definitely relate to and many I could not even believe, but it was beautiful to read this story and think, “I’m not alone,” or, “There is always someone who has it better/worse.”

I cannot even imagine going through what Brodeur went through, but I am so grateful she chose to share her story. As the mother of a daughter, I constantly wonder if/when I will cross the line and how that will affect our relationship going forward. It was so interesting to read about the events that unfolded after that moment in Adrienne’s life.

I think this is a must read for moms – especially moms of daughters!

Book Review – Motherhood So White

Motherhood so White explores Nefertiti Austin’s journey to parenthood as a single, Black woman. With her race and gender against her, Nefertiti pushes cultural norms aside and adopts a black, “crack baby”. As she shares her process in this heart-felt, honest book, she dips into the history of adoption/parenting in the African American community, including her own family history. The journey has not been easy, but the trials and tribulations have led Nefertiti to where she is today, trying her best to build the kind of family she’s longed for – one raised with love and determination to do good in the world.

A prize from my local library’s Book BINGO event, this next one was right up my alley. With the words “memoir”, “race” and “gender” right on the front cover, I knew it would be interesting to me.

Book 31:
Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America
by Nefertiti Austin

Genre:
Memoir, Nonfiction

Published:
September 2019

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, Motherhood So White explores Nefertiti Austin’s journey to parenthood as a single, Black woman. With her race and gender against her, Nefertiti pushes cultural norms aside and adopts a black, “crack baby”. As she shares her process in this heart-felt, honest book, she dips into the history of adoption/parenting in the African American community, including her own family history.

The journey has not been easy, but the trials and tribulations have led Nefertiti to where she is today, trying her best to build the kind of family she’s longed for – one raised with love and determination to do good in the world.

Favorite Quote(s):

“Women of any race shouldn’t have to be superstars for our status as mothers to be respected, no matter what a woman’s path to motherhood is… we need to support each other. We have the same dream of building better families, and this is possible, as long as we recognize and respect each other.”

– Nefertiti Austin, Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America

Awards (based upon my brief research):
None yet.

Pages:
304

My Overall Rating:
4 – I laughed. I cried. I learned so much.

Before opening this book, it never occurred to me that there would be cultural differences between black and white adoptions. I never thought about the fact that it would be different to see a black family adopt a white child, yet we see white families adopt black children all the time. I never thought about the fact that adoption means getting the law involved in a journey to parenthood, and for blacks, getting the law involved in anything is a risk.

Just a few chapters in, I was already hooked. I realized I had so much to learn.

I love memoirs, because I think common people telling stories about their common life is so powerful. But I don’t think Nefertiti is common at all. After reading her story, I think she is one of the strongest women I’ve ever read about. With a riddled family history herself, she rids her future family of the instability and drama of her past. She rises from the muck and mire of a “black adoption”, intermittently seeing her parents and being raised by other family members, and adopts a black child to create a better life for him.

Nefertiti’s story is beautiful. Her transparency was amazing. This was such a great book.

Book Review – Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive is about Stephanie’s attempts to break the cycle of generational poverty as she raises her daughter on her own. Between cleaning houses and government assistance, Stephanie struggles to provide for her daughter and longs for a day when she can follow her dreams without the stress of financial concerns.

January’s Book of the Month choice was a no-brainer for me. I love a good memoir and this one all but screamed at me when I saw it because of its relation to my line of work. I knew I had to read this book. It was just a bonus that I could get it through Book of the Month.

Book 3:
Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive
by Stephanie Land

Genre:
Autobiography, Memoir

Published:
January 2019

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive is about Stephanie’s attempts to break the cycle of generational poverty as she raises her daughter on her own. Between cleaning houses and government assistance, Stephanie struggles to provide for her daughter and longs for a day when she can follow her dreams without the stress of financial concerns.

Favorite Quote(s):

“Recovering from the trauma was also vital, maybe the most critical, but not only could no one help me with that, I didn’t know yet what I needed. The months of poverty, instability, and insecurity created a panic response that would take years to undo.”

“We were expected to live off minimum wage, to work several jobs at varying hours, to afford basic needs while fighting for safe places to leave our children.”

“The most frustrating part of being stuck in the system were the penalties it seemed I received for improving my life.”

“It was the secrecy that fascinated me, the amount of energy she put into appearing perfect and clean.”

– Stephanie Land, Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive

Awards (based upon my brief research):
None yet.

Pages:
288

My Overall Rating:
4 – I love a good memoir. There’s just something about reading the everyday doings of another person that teaches you a lot about yourself. Stephanie’s story is one of strength, courage, hope and a ridiculous amount of hard work. I’m so grateful for her transparency as she explained what it’s like to live reliant upon the system. I think a lot of us have messed up opinions of people in her situation and it saddens me to have read the things people said to her at times. She was dealt a tough hand to play yet she played it like a card shark.

Stephanie is such a talented writer, and I hope the opportunity she received to publish this book is a springboard into the life that’s to come for her and her daughters.

Book Review – All You Can Ever Know

All You Can Ever Know is Nicole Chung’s story, told in memoir fashion, of growing up as both an adoptee and a minority. Nicole was born 10 weeks premature and domestically adopted upon NICU discharge. She grew up an only child in a community where Asians were scarce. Like any adoptee, she always wondered about her biological family – are they still out there? Why did they give her up? What place do they have in her life?

This past summer I learned that by completing my local library’s summer reading club (reading two books per month for the duration of the summer), I would get to choose a free advanced reader’s copy of a book coming out in 2018. As you can probably already guess, reading two books a month is not generally challenging for me. I completed the club, and then went on to sign up for the winter reading club, looking forward to another free book at the end of the challenge, only to find out I first got a free book simply for being one of the first people to sign up. Score. Score. Score. This is said “free book.”

Book 37:
All You Can Ever Know
by Nicole Chung

Genre:
Memoir

Published:
October 2018

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, All You Can Ever Know is Nicole Chung’s story, told in memoir fashion, of growing up as both an adoptee and a minority. Nicole was born 10 weeks premature and domestically adopted upon NICU discharge. She grew up an only child in a community where Asians were scarce. Like any adoptee, she always wondered about her biological family – are they still out there? Why did they give her up? What place do they have in her life?

Favorite Quote(s):

“Family lore given to us as children has such hold over us, such staying power. It can form the bedrock of another kind of faith, one to rival any religion, informing our beliefs about ourselves, and our families, and our place in the world.” 

-Nicole Chung, All You Can Ever Know

Awards (based upon my brief research):
None yet.

Pages:
222

My Overall Rating:
3 – Nicole has such an eloquent writing style and, as a fan of memoir, this book was so beautiful to me. Unfortunately, I am not very in tune with the overall theme of adoption. It was enlightening, to say the least, but not a topic that pulls on my heartstrings. I was still very grateful to have read a book written by a woman born years ago at 10 weeks premature; such a short part of her story, that was the part that lured me in. The rest was merely educational. I cannot imagine having grown up either adopted or as a minority. I’m glad she told her story.

Book Review – Orange is the New Black

After committing a felony in 1993, Kerman was convicted of money-laundering charges five years later and sentenced to 15 months in prison five years after conviction. Having already dramatically turned her life around, she pleaded guilty and served 13 months in the minimum security prison for female inmates. Her memoir details her time in prison from her relationships with new and old friends to the basics of what prison life is like. 

This next one was my chronic back-burner book for a solid year. I nabbed it at a Little Free Library and had every intention of reading it right away. It was always my “next book”, but between book club, Book of the Month, and other books I’ve been picking up here and there, I struggled to get around to it. I finally committed to it, but, confession: I listened to the audio book on a road trip with my husband. This is the first time I’ve ever listened to an audio book. It is not the same experience. I questioned whether I should even review it, but I won’t be going back and actually sitting down with the book so, the review…

Book 17:
Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison
by Piper Kerman

Genre:
Memoir

Published:
March, 2011

Synopsis According to Mandi:
Without spoilers, Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison is about Piper Kerman’s time in the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, CT. After committing a felony in 1993, Kerman was convicted of money-laundering charges five years later and sentenced to 15 months in prison five years after conviction. Having already dramatically turned her life around, she pleaded guilty and served 13 months in the minimum security prison for female inmates. Her memoir details her time in prison from her relationships with new and old friends to the basics of what prison life is like. 

Favorite Quote(s):

“Every human being makes mistakes and does things they’re not proud of. They can be everyday, or they can be catastrophic. And the unfortunate truth of being human is that we all have moments of indifference to other people’s suffering. To me, that’s the central thing that allows crime to happen: indifference to other people’s suffering. If you’re stealing from someone, if you’re hurting them physically, if you’re selling them a product that you know will hurt them—the thing that allows a person to do that is that they somehow convince themselves that that’s not relevant to them. We all do things that we’re not proud of, even though they might not have as terrible consequences.”

-Piper Kerman, Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison

Awards (based upon my brief research):
#1 New York Times Bestseller

Pages:
295

My Overall Rating:
3.5 – I really enjoyed learning about prison life from the outside. My greatest emotion when reading this story was frustration for both good and bad reasons. For good, Piper unveiled the truth that inmates are not treated well and not well-prepared for re-infiltration into society (though she, herself, went into prison as a well-educated, young, engaged-to-be-married, white woman with a maximum 15 month sentence which, I imagine, was advantageous for her). This bothers me. What good are correctional facilities if they’re not actually correcting? Second, I felt Piper wrote off the magnitude of her crime. She committed a felony and often speaks of it as if she’s rolling her eyes while telling fellow inmates she’s been incarcerated for a 10 year old offense. 

My Husband’s Overall Rating:
3.5 – While he was interested in the story, his only complaint was there wasn’t a ton of action. He then acknowledged that because it was a true story, he was impressed her prison sentence went so well for her and was that anti-climactic.